An Cruiskeen Lawnmower – Issue 77 57 comments
Posted March 11, 2011 by ancruiskeenlawnmower in Humour, Ireland, Irish Blog, Irish Political Satire/Comedy, Satire, Ulster
Tagged with BBC NI, Billy Wright, Collapsed Trial, Comedy, David Ford, Derry, Dracula, Drumcree, DUP, Expenses, Fianna Fáil, Funny, Gerry Adams, Humour, Ian Paisley Jr, Ireland, Irish Political Satire, Jim Allister, KKK, Land Deal, Littlest Hobo, London, Lord Laird, Lord Maurice Morrow, Margaret Ritchie, Martin McGuinness, Mary Peters, Mervyn Storey, Michael McGimpsey, Michelle Gildernew, New Westminster Boundaries, Nordie Lunatics, Orange Order, Orange Order Stamps, Peter Robinson, Peter's Mole, Policing and Justice, Political Comedy, Political Humour, Princess Diana, PSNI, Rosslea, Royal Mail, Royal Visit, RSF, Sammy Wilson, Satire, SDLP, Sensible Stormont Questions, Sinn Féin, Stupid Stormont Questions, Sunbed Ban, TUV, Ulster, Ulster Scots, Unwanted Gifts, UUP, Vampires In Stormont, Wills and Kate
57 responses to “An Cruiskeen Lawnmower – Issue 77”
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An Cruiskeen Lawnmower 
TOSSER ?
Oh Alan -10 you fool
Seems you were serious!
lol
You didn’t leave a comment last week maarsha, I expect an explanation or you are banned!
Excellent, removed my previous comment so as not to disrupt the set-up.
That’s 2 of the fastest comments ever.
Did ye Ken Maginns that tsunamis (big waater)were invented by williamite sansei Rabfatsawski McCutheonami by throwing Catholics (fenian bastards in the hamely tongue)into the Bann at Port-e-down creating Lough Nae and the Big Yin’s Causeway in the year of the ‘Pastie Bap’. Just before God created Tennants and feeyords. Pure Fects.
That’s the stile that mary sat on.
Did ye ken that on a clear day, if you look out from Ballycastle ye can clearly see city trash stabbing eachother on the beach. [question mark]
I’m afraid you are wrong LS, if you knew anything about Ballycastle, you would know Glensmen can only look inwards.
Something not remotely funny and irritatingly right wing….racist epithette and a quick national stereotype, punch-like in it’s obnoxiousness
I’m lost here Jeremy. Is this a description of yourself, or what?
Sounds like all the opinions Clarkson holds [for money]
A fan of Stuart lee LS?
One judges the genesis of the problem with the constituencies is the exodus of numbers in search of a job.
Not a mention of McVitiecus?
It’s ney a my business, sham.
I say a you do
Now that is a clever solution, combine five of these constituencies and rename it Pentateuch.
You really torah the ass out of that one
Did ye ken that ulster invented scotland
Read the rules again, you are not allowed anything that is true…and you spelt it correctly…good non-use of capital letters mind you.
wills enjoys a quick toss as kate shows off hir ring
Thank God, I thought for a second you had said she showed off her ‘herring’. That would just have been unacceptable.
Fect aff
Fect aff wi yon tekin compo
Non-sensical, confusing, badly written and no connection to either Scotland, Ulster or an awkward union of both! That puts you in the lead so far sir!
As the legal representative of Mr Oh Bboy, I hereby demand that this publication respect the haemly tongue and accept yon entry aff his for yon competition
Respectfully
Sham & Co.
Ye kenny cod us frey the haem oh the haemly tung. You didney even use the right title. It should be ‘La (silent w) Folk’ or the affectionate feminine form, ‘Cute Cunt’. Anyway the winnin fect will be, ‘Our Mark is innocent.’ Free the Stoneyford Wan!
Mummy, do prostitutes have children?
Of course son, where do you think lawyers come from?
I bet peters mole feels a right tit!!! Stop the bus I think its the left one its on.
Welcome to hell woodle, maybe the 4th button just appeared when the temperature dropped?
I near swallied me benson when I read that Billy Leonard/Littlest Hobo bit. Maybe you have to be of a certain age but the thought of Leonard wandering around the States getting into adventures has given me a new outlook on life. Brilliant brilliant.
Who said a Leonard never changes his spots?
Ah Benson, the thinking man’s medium tar king size.
Maybe not his spots Thomas but his religion and political loyalties which Billy has changed more often than….well, more often than Billy Leonard has changed party.
McGimps banning the sunbeds is also a priceless scoop Mister Lawnmowe!!!
Yes, not a mention on the wireless or telfafishin. They may all be in it together. You have to wonder when Newsline gave airtime to MyGimpscoat to encourage the public to give blood, what does he have to do, sink his teeth into Donna Treaynor?
Diddy ye Kenny Dr.Stephen Ulcer Fry (Armoy) invented Champ 1657 (nearly 5pm),The Dalai MacLama(Dervock)has bred the winning sporran at Crufts for the last 20 yin years in a row,Plaid was discovered by some Tart in Macfin.
Jim Allister wrote the last 200 episodes of My Big Fect Gypsy Wedding.
It’s that brand of mindless gibberish that has you in strong contention!
did ye ken thomas you hay bin oot flanked iris rabinson be no gilte nou thons a winnin fect
Did ye ken that Iris is a big minger that disnae have tae gae tae the Big Hoose for riding that dafty wain and giving him a big lump of Kirk(church) money tomorrow.
P was so close to being the competition winner but in true Ulster-Scots Agency tradition, Arty weighed in with the same fect only slightly altered and I’d have to be mad not to give him the prize.
So with that in mind, the winner is Oh Bhoy by virtue of the fect that he is the only one threatening legal action at this point.
As promised, here is what Lord John Lard Laird keeps under his kilt;
Keep the fects coming.
What about a ‘Whose kilt is Nelson hiding under this Week?’ Compo?
Is that the Mull of Kintyre I see to HRMs Left?
It could be but it’s a bit misty. At least you haven’t crashed and burned, Well done.
Christ we’re in trouble if Lizzie says “Arise Sir Richard”
Her Modesty is the only one without a Crufts entry in her lap deciding to have it on her heed instead
That’s a Bagpussy, Senor Garce
Could you describe Nelson as “The Sporran of Satan”?
Buckingham Phallus?
Should have kept the oh bhoys in the barracks
I can clearly see he’s nuts
Can we have less of the offensive xenophobic purile word play on that despicable lack of respect shown by one of our brave boys to our majesty, ye Taffy curly haired bastard?
TOSSER!
Oh Alan not again -10 you fool you fool
did ye ken ulstsco wear te lango blaetchley perk used fer maeken wordkin a sakeret in te big man’s sakeret memos, changed ‘fer only one weaek as everykin could read it
That’s Loose waffle!