An Cruiskeen Lawnmower – Issue 77   57 comments

57 responses to “An Cruiskeen Lawnmower – Issue 77

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  1. TOSSER ?

  2. Oh Alan -10 you fool

  3. Excellent, removed my previous comment so as not to disrupt the set-up.

    That’s 2 of the fastest comments ever.

  4. Did ye Ken Maginns that tsunamis (big waater)were invented by williamite sansei Rabfatsawski McCutheonami by throwing Catholics (fenian bastards in the hamely tongue)into the Bann at Port-e-down creating Lough Nae and the Big Yin’s Causeway in the year of the ‘Pastie Bap’. Just before God created Tennants and feeyords. Pure Fects.

    • That’s the stile that mary sat on.

      • Did ye ken that on a clear day, if you look out from Ballycastle ye can clearly see city trash stabbing eachother on the beach. [question mark]

      • I’m afraid you are wrong LS, if you knew anything about Ballycastle, you would know Glensmen can only look inwards.

  5. Something not remotely funny and irritatingly right wing….racist epithette and a quick national stereotype, punch-like in it’s obnoxiousness

  6. One judges the genesis of the problem with the constituencies is the exodus of numbers in search of a job.

  7. Did ye ken that ulster invented scotland

    • Read the rules again, you are not allowed anything that is true…and you spelt it correctly…good non-use of capital letters mind you.

  8. wills enjoys a quick toss as kate shows off hir ring

    • Thank God, I thought for a second you had said she showed off her ‘herring’. That would just have been unacceptable.

  9. Fect aff

  10. Fect aff wi yon tekin compo

    • Non-sensical, confusing, badly written and no connection to either Scotland, Ulster or an awkward union of both! That puts you in the lead so far sir!

  11. As the legal representative of Mr Oh Bboy, I hereby demand that this publication respect the haemly tongue and accept yon entry aff his for yon competition


    Sham & Co.

    • Ye kenny cod us frey the haem oh the haemly tung. You didney even use the right title. It should be ‘La (silent w) Folk’ or the affectionate feminine form, ‘Cute Cunt’. Anyway the winnin fect will be, ‘Our Mark is innocent.’ Free the Stoneyford Wan!

    • Mummy, do prostitutes have children?

      Of course son, where do you think lawyers come from?

  12. I bet peters mole feels a right tit!!! Stop the bus I think its the left one its on.

  13. I near swallied me benson when I read that Billy Leonard/Littlest Hobo bit. Maybe you have to be of a certain age but the thought of Leonard wandering around the States getting into adventures has given me a new outlook on life. Brilliant brilliant.

    • Who said a Leonard never changes his spots?

    • Ah Benson, the thinking man’s medium tar king size.

      Maybe not his spots Thomas but his religion and political loyalties which Billy has changed more often than….well, more often than Billy Leonard has changed party.

  14. McGimps banning the sunbeds is also a priceless scoop Mister Lawnmowe!!!

    • Yes, not a mention on the wireless or telfafishin. They may all be in it together. You have to wonder when Newsline gave airtime to MyGimpscoat to encourage the public to give blood, what does he have to do, sink his teeth into Donna Treaynor?

  15. Diddy ye Kenny Dr.Stephen Ulcer Fry (Armoy) invented Champ 1657 (nearly 5pm),The Dalai MacLama(Dervock)has bred the winning sporran at Crufts for the last 20 yin years in a row,Plaid was discovered by some Tart in Macfin.
    Jim Allister wrote the last 200 episodes of My Big Fect Gypsy Wedding.

  16. did ye ken thomas you hay bin oot flanked iris rabinson be no gilte nou thons a winnin fect

  17. Did ye ken that Iris is a big minger that disnae have tae gae tae the Big Hoose for riding that dafty wain and giving him a big lump of Kirk(church) money tomorrow.

  18. I can clearly see he’s nuts

    • Can we have less of the offensive xenophobic purile word play on that despicable lack of respect shown by one of our brave boys to our majesty, ye Taffy curly haired bastard?

  19. TOSSER!

  20. Oh Alan not again -10 you fool you fool

  21. did ye ken ulstsco wear te lango blaetchley perk used fer maeken wordkin a sakeret in te big man’s sakeret memos, changed ‘fer only one weaek as everykin could read it

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