An Cruiskeen Lawnmower – Issue 57   33 comments

33 responses to “An Cruiskeen Lawnmower – Issue 57

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  1. Carson is not having a grope, he’s fisting while giving a reacharound.

    It does remind one of this

  2. Donaldson and Berry seem to have been airbrushed from the picture of Carson. Why ?

    Surely we should see Donaldson giving him a mouthful and Berry recieving his sports massage. Is this some sort of family orientated blog I’ve come across ?

    • An awful slur
      How dare you Sir
      Lord Carson was no bender!
      Ask Oscar Wilde
      Who he defiled
      Whilst Shouting ‘No Surrender’!

  3. Has no one noticed that theres 2 ken maginnesses in those comical ali pictures?

  4. So Carson’s queer?
    A rear peer?
    No oral on a Sunday.
    He sent Oscar down
    To Reading Town
    A screaming flaming Lundy

    • Provide a link
      That Edward’s pink
      Or cease your vicious musing
      A midnight lark
      Round Phoenix Park
      Is no firm proof of cruising.

  5. Craig tickled his hole
    His cherry he stole
    A fairy’s tale not fable
    A shirtlifter he,
    For all to see,
    Bent over the Covenant table

    • I’ve read the books
      And by the looks
      He kept it in his holster
      His views were clear
      Despite your smear
      ‘No Homo Rule for Ulster!’

      • Loyalty to the crown?
        His love was brown
        Every Tory boy’s free bitch
        A sporting chap
        Who caught the clap
        A’ hurlin’ in Randolph’s ditch

      • Still my belief
        His legal briefs
        Were only for the lasses
        When he did lay
        The Dollies brayed
        Ne’er mind the chattering classes

  6. Like gay King Billy
    Or a Shankill Millie
    Nor famed as a filly-buster
    An advocate
    Of Roger hate
    As camp as General Custer

    • I won’t be coy
      The Wimslow Boy
      Has worried me before
      You may be right
      The Loyal Knight
      Has used the tradesman’s door!

      • A consensus reached
        reputations impeached
        A disgrace to his profession
        Ulster would be right
        with a posing sodomite
        That shamed Caligula in confession

      • I see the lawn mower is a s sensible as ever!!! Are we all alloed to submit poetry for the new literary section?

        There was an ulster unionist from fermanagh………???????

        Some help here please i’m stuck?

      • For the prosecution, Exhibit A

  7. Brilliant issue, laughed my ass off at the shipping forecast, FAIR owes is priceless.

  8. @lightsaber

    There was an Ulster Unionist from Fermanagh
    Who entered a junior gymkhana…

  9. There was an Ulster Unionist from Fermanagh
    Who entered a Junior Gymkhana
    To the kids he explained
    I know Fred Cobain
    He’s the lead singer of popular beat combo Nirvana.

  10. All very wierd this week Mister L’mower, like the new look NIE. Unionists know they cant stop it being sold but they know that complaining about it will be a volt winner.

  11. Thought you would never get to the bottom of that Carson boy. What was wrong with a couplet for Carson and Arson? Shipping forecast a real classic, but who is General Synopsis?

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